I'm Visiting Chicago!

Hey guys! My name's Matt, and I'm going to be in Chicago - wow!

Jul 28

Third Week In Chicago Recap

More than halfway done my Chicago Adventure!™ Let’s see what I did this week:

Sunday: Monday, Happy Days

Monday: Thought about seeing Big Miracle. Sang “Brighter than the Sun” but with words about what I imagined the plot to Big Miracle was. Turned out to involve John Krasinski and Drew Barrymore saving many more whales than they probably did. Also there was a kid?

Tuesday: Wednesday, Happy Days

Wednesday: Sent jokey reply texts. Was afraid recipient did not realize they were jokes when not responded to immediately. Inevitably received response, cycle repeated ad infinitum. Woke up in a pool of my own tears. Maids unappreciative. 

Thursday: Friday, Happy Days

Friday: Tried to find a reason not to lie in bed all day and sleep. Had several productive dreams about it.

Saturday: What a day!

Jul 27

Someone left these books out for free, a move seemingly at odds with the lessons in them

Jul 26
Chicago Transit Authority works hard to keep its stations clean and its customers reminded of the benefits of prophylactics

Chicago Transit Authority works hard to keep its stations clean and its customers reminded of the benefits of prophylactics

Jul 21

Second Week in Chicago Recap

Hey ya’lls! My second week in Chicago has just ended, so I thought I’d let you know what I’d been up to.

Sunday: In anticipation of new classes, I set about remaking my image. I went online, looking at various established “cool” websites and brands for inspiration on how to look maximally “cool.” If everyone thought I was just a scrawny white guy the first week, this week they were going to see a new me. A better me. A more complete and badass me. A me that no one would be able to see and dismiss ever again. So then I went out to a Walgreens and accomplished my goal.


Monday: I began my second week of classes with a new teacher. He had come in from Los Angeles and our class was the only one he was teaching during the Summer Intensive. He spent the first half of the day making passing references to things in Los Angeles and going “but you wouldn’t know what that was/means/entails - you don’t live in Los An-hell-ace.” For the second half we wandered around Wrigleyville to find him “a sick drug connection.”

Tuesday: I bought an apple from a 7/11 for breakfast. As I began biting into it, my body started shaking, actively rejecting the fruit I had given it. I spent most of the morning in a feverish haze, returning to a stable state only after promising I would continue to eat fried food for breakfast and lunch and dinner. My body purred in approval.

Wednesday: Fire drill at the University Center I’m staying at. Thousands dead.

Thursday: We were given evaluations at the end of our second week of the intensive. When it was my turn to go up, the teacher started to say something, quickly caught his breath, and then shook his head silently. The rest of the class threw pencils at me. There was a very nice nurse at a local free clinic who removed them. She asked how I got so many pencils in me and I told her I was at an improv class. The nurse shook her head silently. 

Friday: Entered a record store; spontaneously combusted.

Saturday: Nightswam off a harbor in Lake Michigan. Was pulled underwater by strange creatures. At first I thrashed violently but realized I could breathe. The creatures led me deeper and deeper and at a certain point the consuming darkness burst open and I was dazzled by the light of a thousand shimmering sources. The light became brighter and I felt my body begin to phase apart until I was stretched out in all directions, dissolving into the water and into the light. I woke up with my head bleeding on a rock right next to shore. 

Also I saw this.


Jul 20
I was advised to post every three days or so so here is some art maybe it was in a sculpture garden

I was advised to post every three days or so so here is some art maybe it was in a sculpture garden

Jul 16

Anonymous said: Yet another censor! What is it that you learned?

Hello fan! 

I’m still not sure what is being censored, but I might have a clue (hint: not my genitals!). If you’re looking at a post and it looks like just a title, try clicking on the title. I do not know how to embed tweets on Tumblr despite consulting several helpful(?) blogs, so what you’re seeing is actually a link to a Vine. 

Hope this helps!

Jul 15

Jul 14

Jul 13

First Week In Chicago Recap

Well, it’s been my first week in Chicago, and there’s a lot to catch you guys up on! 

Sunday: The effects of jet lag began to take their toll. My sleep schedule became slightly off. I felt achier and more tired than usual. I did my Sun ritual an hour late and now Jupiter will not grant me favor. Jeopardy came on at a weird time. 

Monday: I had a dream that I showed up to my first improv class naked and everyone laughed at me. When I woke up I was in my first improv class and everyone but me was naked. Then they all laughed at me.

Tuesday: Gazed into the abyss.

Wednesday: I was listening to Thelonious Monk’s “I Didn’t Know About You” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE8S4nw3grI) while riding the L and found it synced up very well to the sights and sounds of the city. I resolved that if I had a chance to make a movie, I would have it take place in Chicago and use that song as its centerpiece. Then I realized this was essentially how every Woody Allen movie was made. In anger, I threw away my clarinet and became attracted to young Asians in my extended family. 

Thursday: I saw this while walking around Chicago. It served as a potent reminder that what we value as symbols of strength quickly lose their utility, while the things we often neglect in the short term - the arts, music, etc. - are often those which stay strong the longest. Frightened, I went and purchased a gun. image

Friday: Abyss gazed back into me.

Saturday: I went to a beach by a lake, the first time I have ever gone to a beach that didn’t border the ocean. It was very freeing to swim without having to worry about sharks or jellyfish or the other myriad and dangerous creatures which go along with ocean swimming, however irrational that fear may be (you’re more likely to be killed by a cow than sharks). I swam in my clothes and, despite only having tanning oil available, did not burn the exposed parts of my body - a small miracle in and of itself. I was able to get a nice walk around a part of the city I’d never seen before and then stopped to get a nice bite to eat. All the while I was accompanied by new friends from my improv class, so I got to know new people and learn something from their experiences. In many ways, it was a rather idyllic day. On the way home I was mauled to death by a cow. 

Jul 12

I visited the Taste of Chicago, and boy, did I get a Taste of the real Chicago!

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